The anniversary periods are notable times in early recovery that most of us need to acknowledge and be sensitive to. It is during these times that our emotions are the most powerful and, at times, cause an instability in rationale and emotions. They are as follows: 30 days, 60 days, 3 months, 6 months, 9 months, 12 months, 18 months, 24 months, 2.5 years, 3 years, 3.5 years, 4 years, 4.5 years, 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, etc. Five years is the accepted period of time in which a person is considered sober if he has maintained a continuous lifestyle of sobriety. After the fifth year it is statistically known, but not understood why, that the anniversary periods fall in five-year intervals for the remainder of the life of the individual.
The physical body heals much sooner than the emotional area of our personality. See The Wheel of Emotion, Appendix 4. The emotional area of our being is arrested in its normal growth progression from the moment we begin to use in a habitual manner. Because of this, the first year is very emotional and tumultuous. We begin to experience more emotional upheaval in two areas, self-awareness and relationships. The first temptation we usually face is the emotion of loneliness and the desire for companionship. We are relational creatures and were created in the image and likeness of God. See The Structure of Man, Appendix 2. God is a relational being and we reflect that character.
When we discover who we are without the influence of a foreign substance corrupting our character or emotions, it is like a new drug to us and we often react to it that way. We want to explore these new found feelings and share them with someone significant. We are zealous towards these newly aroused emotions and because we are without the trained and practiced strength to maintain and control them, we often fall prey to them quickly. We have always practiced the emotions of anger, bitterness, resentment, fear, and the like. If we have been acutely addicted, we usually have a tendency to become intensely aware of our sex drive, which was ignored because of our addictions. We have no balance, restraints, or boundaries in these areas. Because they are pleasure-based and occupy the second closest area to our core, the enemy desires to control them in any way he can. See Psychological Makeup Of Man, Appendix 1.
This is why most individuals are told or instructed to stay away from relationships within the first year. We barely know ourselves emotionally without trying to get to know someone else on this level. It is like hooking up a horse to a buggy with the buggy in front. Relationships that are developed within the first year of recovery usually quickly gravitate to the physical or sexual arenas before the foundation of the relationship has a chance to fully mature. In addition to this, we are often totally unaware of the spiritual aspect of the law. When we are made aware of a behavior and told not to do it, we automatically desire to do it. This is known as temptation.
James 1:14-15 But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, brings forth death.
Sin affects three things that entice us to desire our own will or way. These are our will, imagination, and curiosity. Nothing from outside of us can affect our will except us. No outside source can touch it. We voluntarily have to open the doorway to it before it can be enticed. We see how this works in the illustration of the fall of man in Genesis 3:6, “So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate.” You'll notice that Eve was enticed first to open her will, which she did by entertaining a conversation with the enemy. Second, she entertained her imagination by viewing the fruit and allowing it to entice her pleasures. Finally, her curiosity was enticed through the idea (a lie) that she would be made as wise as God.
Romans 7:14-23 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am carnal, sold under sin. For what I am doing, I do not understand. For what I will to do, that I do not practice; but what I hate, that I do. If, then, I do what I will not to do, I agree with the law that it is good. But now, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh) nothing good dwells; for to will is present with me, but how to perform what is good I do not find. For the good that I will to do, I do not do; but the evil I will not to do, that I practice. Now if I do what I will not to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells in me. I find then a law, that evil is present with me, the one who wills to do good. For I delight in the law of God according to the inward man. But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
The first and foremost area that the enemy wants to gain control over is the area of our will. The second is the area of our sexuality, the second area closest to the heart or center of man that only God can occupy. See Psychological Makeup of Man, Appendix 1. If Satan can gain control over this area, he can usually hinder growth in an individual for a considerable amount of time and, at times, cause irreparable damage or death.
We must first learn to die to self before we can get to know someone else. We need to be aware of who we are before we can truthfully be ourselves with someone else.
There may be times when we react to something without knowing the cause for this reaction. We will then have to face the fear and anger caused by our insensitivity and unthinking behavior. We are self-centered and, just like an infant, we must learn self-control. We must grow and mature in our emotions and learn that we have the ability to control them. We must begin to practice longsuffering before we are able to learn and experience what it does.